Dead Frogs Poisonous Lizards and Five Little Energetic Boys

All children are born into the world with a heightened sense of awareness of all things around them living or dead. That's what the whole beauty of being a child is; non-judgemental, open and honest in every way and sense of the words and best of all as a child you come equipped with some sort of well, don't laugh-magic. I got to witness the so-called "magic" the other day when I baby sat my girlfriend's five little energetic boys. I may be unemployed at the moment, but I felt like I was training for a series of different career paths. Let's see I got to fill the role of a nurse, which included such duties as tending to bee stings, and bandaging some very tiny, but scraped up toes. Also, I got the privilege of being a referee/mediator, but after careful examination by an outside source my refing and mediating skills were immediately lost on ten sets of ears. Somehow the decibals of base in my voice lost signal. Oh yeah,also got to tend to some wildlife and here lies the funny of this honorable mention.

Remember earlier when I spoke of the "magic" that kids have? Well, I got to see it first hand. Sammy, the third oldest, whom by the way is the most passionate in ALL his emotional displays, discovered a little frog amongst the trees and cut up wood in the yard. Well folks if you ask me the thing was definitely on its LAST leg with maybe a millisound of a ribbit left. It was hot as bejeebers outside and honey, I think the sun had fried the poor thing to death already; it's just that when Sammy picked it up he squeezed whatever millisecond of life it had left, thus the thing moved one last time. Okay, so here comes the "magic". A few child moments later(about thirty minutes later in adult time) the dead frog had somehow been placed on the front porch while the search for other amphibians and creepy-crawlies was being executed. I go out on the front porch to see how the "search" was going only to find Jacob, the one behind Sammy(in age) curled up on the porch next to the now SUPER DEAD frog whispering, "Wake up little froggy," and poking at it. Interesting, they say Houdini was the most amazing magician of all time. Well look out everyone here comes little Jacob! Maybe he can whisper to my bank account to "produce money" then we could take this thing on the road!

Now on my resume here it states that I have had some training as a nurse. Oh yes, bee stings and scraped toes. That would be Sammy and Isaiah. Isaiah is the youngest of all the brothers and the most likely to flow which ever direction life takes him. Besides being cute as a button he's also strong in character as well, and let's not forget his comedic side. But now those toes? Well, I figured a popsicle would smooth over the uncomfortableness of trying to clean the scraped up toes with alcohol, I was wrong. That popsicle thought must have been an illusion on my part because the screams that child let out brought all insects that were buried underground out and I think it may have just brought that frog back from the dead. Guess I'll give up my dream of working for Dr. House. Ah yes, Sammy's bee sting. He's so passionate. When he told me he hadn't bothered the bee I believed him. I just had to let him know that some bees are just mean and looking for precious little boys to bully! It was nothing a little hugging wouldn't take care of right. Yeah, until he continued crying for what seemed like an hour, by the way, sending me down into the garage of my own house damn near tears. I'm gonna blame that on pregnancy hormones. Hey, we all get emotional sometimes okay? Sammy got over emotional and it just rubbed off that's all. Yep, I suppose there's no need to send a resume over to Grey's Anatomy either.

Oh yeah, refereeing and mediation over swivel chairs and game boys aren't exactly my area of expertise either. I forget that it's okay to tell children no. They're children, they have no power in the final words of adults right? Well, I failed miserably at this. There I was trying to make peace amongst five little energetic bodies who all wanted to swing around in this swivel chair simoultaneously. My nerves were indeed at wits end and if that chair could talk I'm sure it would have thanked me also. Finally, I came to terms with myself and decided that the chair had to go. Yay! I made a final decision on my own and stuck to it without getting punked by big brown eyes and pouty faces. The game boy situation I didn't do so bad on simply because I had help from the outside like, poisonous lizards and slimy worms to distract their attention. Phew! What a relief that was.

Alright, so maybe I'm a little rusty at this whole thing besides being pregnant, but I guess I'd better tighten up because my little one will be here soon and it's a done deal so it's not like I can call the store and get a refund. Children are not money back guaranteed. They are a GUARANTEED LIFETIME COMMITMENT though so you just have to be ready. I'm not sure five little energetic boys , a dead frog or a poisonous lizard are required criteria for it, but it sure as hell helped, and the best thing about this was: I could give them back at no cost to me!