Welcome To McDonalds May I Check My Myspace Please

I don't know about you, but I'm all about intergrating internet with fast food chains as long as good service is available BOTH ways. Now I don't know about all fast food junkies, but how many times have you pulled up to the drive thru window to place an order only to get a staticky mess of a voice that even R2D2 wouldn't be able to make out? The worst part is that when you finally CREEP your way up to the first window to pay, you instantly find out that your order was never taken; that it was the person's order before you that came up on the screen after you've irritatedly driven off from the window.

Now you're really teed off because not only do you have to repeat yourself to the cashier with broken english, but you are in dire need of a bathroom, and chanting the alphabet to yourself is breaking your concentration even more, allowing just a little trickle of pee to squeeze its way out of the Netherlands. So now you've gotten up to the second window to recieve your "phantom" order and what do you know? The waiting time is five to are you serious?, minutes because the person that's handing out your much anticipated goodies has their back turned typing ferociously on a laptop! This you absolutely must see up close for yourself so you put your car in park, squeeze your legs together as to secure the walls of the "Netherlands",and actually lean in the window to get a good look at what the hell the person is typing on the computer and lo and behold... you witness Tom and all his myspace friends jumping out at you from the screen. Get the f---outta here! You're seriously trying to convince yourself that this is part of the fast food job duties handbook.

Maybe it's a new fad or something that no one else has heard of yet. I mean after all you are in one of the artsiest college towns in the state so maybe it's just- cool. As the person is laughing and typing with no awareness of you at all, the people's kids in the car behind you have decided that this would be the perfect time to try out those new waterguns that their grandparents thought would be oh so neat for them to have. So much for the security of the Netherlands. Now it's do or die of sticky-pee-on-yourself syndrome. You're cussing out loud as you are running for the door of the building because the myspace associate has just remembered that they are really working in a drive-thru not a cubicle on the second floor of some hot ass telemarketing building and that your "phantom" food has now surpassed its time for keeping hot- it's just not your day apparently.

As you come from the bathroom hoping your car is still idling in the drive thru you pay attention to the people standing in line shaking their heads in disbelief. Is it possible that the management running this so-called "customer oriented" staff are so overwhelmed with being kids themselves that they have secretly rearranged the entire fast food policy to fit their intentions or are they so old and bitter they are over the hill that they just don't care? Maybe it's lack of pay raises or maybe it really is a test run to see how long staff can ignore a hungry public, but I will say it's an interesting hypothesis. Well, the good thing about this is that when you go to get in your still -sitting- idling- in - the drive thru car, the person at the window is now agitated. As you smile and take your food you calmly look into the unknowing eyes of the customer service rookie and say sarcastically, "Hi, welcome to McDonalds, may I check my myspace please?"